If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you either have your third baby on the way or are considering having a third! Congrats! I’m sharing my top tips that made our transition to 3 kids under 4 go smoothly.
I get asked all the time how the transition to 3 was. I personally think it was the easiest transition for me.
The first baby rocks your world, and everything changes. Having a second felt a little easier for me, but it was an adjustment having a baby and a busy toddler.
While I wouldn’t say having 2 toddlers and a newborn is easy, it was the easiest transition for me because I knew what to expect, I felt more confident and relaxed, and I didn’t sweat the small stuff as much.
I am sharing the top things that helped our transition to 3 kids go well. For context, when our baby girl was born, we had 3.5-year-old and 2-year-old boys, but I think these tips can apply to any age gaps!
Top Tips for the Transition to Three Kids
1. Accept Help
Accepting help isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom. Whether it’s your spouse stepping in more with the “big kids”, a friend dropping off dinner, a lactation consultant offering support, or nurses showing you new tricks in those early days, say yes more often than you think you should.
My third baby had a terrible latch, and I felt dumb making an appointment with a lactation consultant when I had already breastfed two other babies. It was SO worth it and made a world of difference. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, even if you have experience being a mom.
Reach out to other moms, too. There is something incredibly comforting about texting someone who gets it when you’re running on little sleep or feeling overwhelmed. Motherhood isn’t meant to be done alone, and leaning into community makes the transition feel lighter.
And remember that to have a village, you need to be a village. It may not be your time to offer help and support to others right now, but in the future, when life is less chaotic, you will be there for those who were there for you.
If you don’t have a lot of family or friends around, here are a few ideas for finding your “village”:
- Library programs -local library story hours are free and great for meeting other parents
- Walking groups – search for some in your area, some I know of/have participated in are Fit4Mom, Stroller Strides, and Hike It Baby (now called OutGrown)
- Community groups – book clubs, Bible studies, local non-profits
- Facebook Groups – search for local mom groups to ask questions in or meet people
- Neighbors – take cookies with your phone number over to your neighbors to “break the ice”, even if it’s out of your comfort zone or feels awkward – my neighbor did this for us, and now we are best friends and have made friends with other moms in the neighborhood as well!
2. Get Set Up For Success
The more you can simplify your environment, the easier those early weeks will feel.
The best things I did to simplify life:
- Signed up for a grocery delivery service
- Made a drawer for the baby in our room (we keep our babies in our room for 5-6 months) with all of the essentials
- Had diaper caddies multiple locations throughout the house and in the car – think of it as creating little “zones” where everything you need is within arm’s reach.
- Having safe places to set the baby down in multiple areas throughout the house and outside
- Doing toy rotation for my older kids to cut down on the mess and extend their independent play
Having systems already in place reduces decision fatigue — that mental energy matters when you’re juggling three kids. Even small setups like pre-stocked baskets, extra burp cloths nearby, or a cozy feeding corner can make your day flow so much more smoothly.
3. Don’t Blame the Baby
I heard this advice from YouTuber/influencer Kallie Branciforte (That Practical Mom), and it stuck with me: don’t blame the baby, meaning don’t make the baby the reason your older kids can’t do something.
Instead of saying, “We can’t go to the park because the baby needs to eat,” try shifting the language so siblings don’t feel like life suddenly revolves around restrictions. “Let’s do it! I just need 10 minutes, and then we will get going”. Instead of “No, I can’t play with you right now. I’m rocking the baby.” Try: “I would love to play with you! I just need five minutes. Let’s talk about what we are going to play.”
It sounds simple, but words matter — especially for little hearts adjusting to a new family dynamic.
Framing things positively helps older siblings see the baby as part of the team rather than the reason everything changed.
4. Products that Made Life Easier
You really don’t need to buy much, if anything, for baby #3, but here are some things that made life easier for us:
- Keenz Stroller Wagon – probably the best purchase I ever made – we have used it almost daily & absolutely love it – I wrote a whole blog post about it here.
- Wearable breast pump – I hardly ever had time to sit down and use my Spectra, so this wearable pump was so helpful for pumping on-the-go
- Good baby carrier – I didn’t use the carrier much with my first baby…my third baby lived in it. I love this wrap carrier hybrid for the early days, and this versatile Ergobaby carrier for when the baby is older
- Safe places to set baby – we used the Baby Bjorn Bouncer, an infant lounger, and this outdoor portable playpen. Our third baby was born in May, so we were outside a lot during her newborn days – I would often put her in the DockaTot lounger and set it in the Keenz wagon. It was basically like an outdoor, rolling pack-n-play – a perfect way to keep her safe and sound when we were outside
- Refresh/restock on essentials – bottles, pacis, burp cloths, pump parts, postpartum gear, diapers/wipes, etc.
5. Keep the Older Siblings Entertained
I already mentioned how toy rotation helps us a TON.
Getting out of the house also makes a huge difference for us. I know it can feel intimidating, but it always feels good to get out of the house – everyone is usually in a better mood, there’s less fighting, they get tired out more easily, and the house doesn’t get as trashed.
Another seemingly simple thing that can go a long way: take 5-10 minutes to play with your older kids. Look into their eyes and give them your full, undivided attention. Just a few minutes of uninterrupted time can prevent meltdowns and tantrums and help your older kids feel connected to you, even when life feels chaotic and overwhelming.
Spending time with your older kids doesn’t have to always involve playing, either. Let them help you with the baby, help unload the dishwasher, give them a wipe to help you “clean”, take them to the store with you, let them help you prepare dinner, ask them questions about their day while you’re washing bottles, etc. – great ways to spend quality time together while still getting things done.
6. Have Some Sort of Structure/Routine
Kids thrive on predictability, especially when so much is changing around them. Keeping some familiar routines — like bedtime rhythms, snack times, or simple daily traditions — helped our older kids feel secure even when newborn life felt chaotic.
The routine doesn’t need to be rigid or perfect. Think of it more like a loose framework that gives everyone a sense of normalcy.
Even small anchors throughout the day can make a big difference in how smoothly things run. Honestly, this helped me as much as it helped the kids.
7. Let Siblings “Help” with the Baby if They Want To
If your older kids show interest in helping, lean into it. Letting them grab a diaper, sing to the baby, or help pick out an outfit gives them ownership in this new season. It transforms the baby from something that takes your attention to someone they feel connected to.
Of course, “helping” might slow things down — but the emotional payoff is worth it.
8. Accept That Everything is Going to Take at Least 3x Longer
Getting out the door with three kids can feel like an Olympic sport. The sooner I accepted that everything would take longer and wouldn’t go perfectly, the less frustrated I felt.
I would get SO flustered when I felt rushed, yell at the kids, and lose my temper, which was not helpful. I try to give myself plenty of extra time to get where we need to be, and this helps a ton because I know feeling rushed/being late is a trigger for me to lose it.
When you expect delays and hiccups, you’re less thrown off by them — and the whole experience feels more peaceful.
9. Lower Your Expectations
I know that sounds kind of pathetic, but hear me out.
One of the most freeing mindset shifts for me was setting just 2-3 realistic goals for the day. Maybe it was a load of laundry, getting outside with the kids, getting a work task done, or simply keeping everyone fed and loved.
Come up with 2-3 things you REALLY want to get accomplished that day. Anything additional that gets done is a bonus.
This season is not about productivity — it’s about presence and survival in the sweetest way. Giving yourself permission to slow down can make the transition feel much more manageable. There will be other seasons of life when we are not as needed and can get more done.
10. Take Care of YOU
It’s easy to put yourself last when you have three little humans depending on you, but your well-being matters more than ever.
Even small moments — a walk outside, a workout while the kids play, five minutes of meditation/prayer, a hot shower, going through a drive-thru to get a coffee, listening to a podcast for 20 minutes while you’re home with the kids, etc. — can reset your energy and help you show up as the mom you want to be.
You don’t need hours of self-care to feel grounded. Sometimes it’s just asking for ten minutes to breathe, stretch, or sit in silence. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s what allows you to pour into your family.
I hope these tips help your transition to three kids! We are about to have baby #4 in a few weeks, and I just reviewed these to remind myself what will help me thrive during this transition!
